I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
