Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
