and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
