It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
