My cat gives me a boner
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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