if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she told me i tasted like america
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
