I am spending my child support on dildos
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
