Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
