please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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