if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
