sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
