Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
