..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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