There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
