I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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