Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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