I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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