I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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