We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
