you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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