Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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