there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
