Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize