We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
