He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
