But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
