I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
