can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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