oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
