She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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