About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
