Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
