Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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