Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
