Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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