we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
