at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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