I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
