and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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