Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
