That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You ruined the universe
Randomize
