people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
please don't ironically join a cult
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