Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
