Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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