I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
