'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
