i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
