i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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