its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize