Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
