you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
