my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
