Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
