HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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