Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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