Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
