remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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