Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
