Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
