...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
