So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
