Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
