It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize