i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
