We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
