Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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